Rooftop Lunch
by Kelly Kapoor
Summary: Pam has a few things to say to Jim. Post CasinoNight.


Pam had been stalling long enough. She had chickened out of calling him or stopping by his house all weekend long. On Thursday he told her he was in love with her. Now it was Monday morning and he was walking into the office again. She had coached herself on what to say and had practiced it in her head all last night and this morning. She was so nervous that she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

She opened her mouth to talk to him as he walked past her desk, but nothing came out. He only sheepishly glanced at her and said "morning" before walking to his desk. By the time she was finally able to squeak out "hi" in response, he was already sitting in front of his computer.

In addition to being nervous, she was now pissed at herself for messing up her chance to talk to him before their coworkers arrived. It was not going as she had planned.

Since she hadn't been able to sleep all weekend, it wasn't a struggle for her to get up early this morning and take extra time to style her hair and get ready. Since Roy had left to stay with his brother on Friday night, the bathroom wasn't all steamed up from his morning shower. She had the bathroom to herself now. The steam always made her curly hair frizz out, so there was never any point in taking extra time to style it. She had relied on her standard barretted hairstyle every day. But without the steam, with the extra time, and with Jim on her mind, there was definitely a point to her styling efforts. She wanted to look good. For him.

She decided to blow her kinky curls out into larger, soft curls, the way she had on Casino Night. But this time she wouldn't barrette it back. She would wear it all down. She hoped Jim would like it.

Now she was at work, answering phones and typing on her keyboard, and her hair kept falling into her eyes. She kept unconsciously tucking it behind her right ear.

Since she had missed her opportunity to talk to Jim when he walked in, she decided to email instead. It would be more discreet. Dwight & Michael wouldn't be able to overhear their conversation if she emailed him.

TO:Jim Halpert

FROM: Pam Beesly

RE:Lunch today

Jim – I need to talk to you. Meet me on the roof at lunch?

Please? It's really important.

Pam

TO: Pam Beesly

FROM: Jim Halpert

RE:Lunch today

Okay. 12:30.

Okay. She couldn't back out now. He had agreed to meet her. She spent the rest of the morning ignoring her work and continually coaching herself on what she wanted to say. There was a lot, and she didn't want her nerves to make her forget any of the important points.

The clock slowly ticked by. 9:30. 10:08. 10:37. 10:51. 11:22. It was finally noon, and she was getting more and more nervous each minute. The anticipation was excruciating. She wondered if this was how Jim had felt. He seemed so calm when he talked to her in the parking lot that night. He just seemed to be able to spit it right out. Why was she so nervous? Why was this so hard? After all, she already knew he loved her.

At 12:10 she went to the bathroom to check her hair and makeup. When she came out, Jim was on a sales call. He was still on the call when Pam put the phones on automatic voicemail and slipped out of her chair, headed for the roof access ladder. She wanted to get up there before him. She didn't want him watching her as she climbed onto the roof. She wanted some sense of control in the situation and thought she might need those few extra seconds to compose herself.

She paced around on the roof, chewing on her fingernail while she waited for him. But suddenly she could hear movement under the access panel. The panel flipped open and Jim was emerging, almost in slow motion. He stepped out onto the roof and closed the panel carefully so it wouldn't make any noise. Then he turned to face her.

She motioned for him to sit in one of the lawn chairs that were still there. They were both silent as he sat and looked up at her.

Pam took a deep breath and started.

"Jim. I have a lot of things to say, and I'm gonna need you to be quiet and let me get it all out while I still have the nerve. So please reserve your questions and comments until the end of the presentation."

She gave him a weak smile. Her attempt at comedy got no response. He just stared at her with the same sad, blank look he had since Thursday night. When Pam didn't continue, Jim nodded just enough to acknowledge that he wouldn't say anything and that she should go on.

"Okay. See, the thing is Jim, you need to know how incredible you are. You're the most amazing person I've ever met."

Jim's face changed and his eyes got wide as he stared at Pam. His jaw flexed and he seemed to be breathing harder.

Pam continued "Jim, you've been my best friend for the last 3 years. You've been there for me through everything. You've been supportive and funny, and just seeing you cheers me up. You understand me. You make me laugh. You're thoughtful and smart and supportive. You're a gentleman. You're honest and brave. You really are….you're so great." Her voice got really soft then.

She was having trouble looking him in the eyes now. His jaw was still hard and set, and his eyes were still wide, and she could feel herself chickening out. She took another deep breath.

"Your friendship means so much to me. **You** mean so much to me……..And I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you."

Now Jim was looking angry. She could tell that he was about to get up and leave. She could read him well enough to know that he was interpreting her speech as another rejection. It was time to stop beating around the bush and just come right out with it. She locked eyes with him and blurted out…

"I'm sorry that I've been so stupid. Jim, mostly I'm sorry for not realizing until now that I love you. I love you, and its over with Roy. I love you, and I want to be with you, and I……I just hope it's not too late."

Her hands were shaking and her heart was hammering so hard in her chest that she almost couldn't hear herself get the words out. They stared at each other for what seemed like an hour. Jim's eyes were still wide, and though his mouth was closed, jaw had softened and now hung slack in shock.

The seconds stretched out forever while they continued to stare at each other. Pam was starting to panic just a little.

"Now would be a good time to say something. I'm done talking. You can talk now."

Jim seemed to be having a hard time forming any words. In disbelief he asked "You love me?" Classic stalling technique.

"Yes."

"You and Roy broke up?"

"Yes." She held up her left hand to reveal a bare ring finger.

A slow, one sided smile spread across Jim's right cheek and he stood up from the lawn chair. Pam saw him smile and wasted no time in closing the distance between them and grabbing his arm and the back of his head and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss.

Jim broke the kiss and pulled away. "Are you okay? With Roy and everything?"

"I'm kissing you. I'm great. Now shut up." She pulled his head closer and covered his mouth with hers.

After a nice long kiss, more passionate and hungry than Thursday night, they both pulled away and took a step back. They held hands and smiled at each other.

"I'm gonna have to add another thing to your list of good attributes."

"What's that Beesly?"

"You're an excellent kisser too." Pam blushed.

"Yeah, that was my best work. You should feel privileged." Jim smirked.

"Oh, I see 'humble' won't be making the list!" Pam laughed.

They continued to hold hands but fell into an awkward silence. Pam finally spoke again. "I just wanted to tell you how great you are. I thought you should know. About everything, I mean, not just the kissing. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night. I just wish I would have figured things out sooner. But I need us to take things slowly."

"If you want me to take things slowly, you're gonna have to stop wearing your hair all pretty like that. Its inhumane torture." Jim teased.

"You're one to talk, Mister tall, dark and gorgeous!"

"Gorgeous, huh?"

"Oh, very. Add it to the list."


End file.
